A ‘guy’ Thing
Someone recently asked me how I dealt with ‘guy’ loneliness. I told her I really don’t get lonely at all – I’m happy where I am. So I was thinking more about it later, and realized that the way I came to this realization was by sitting down and really thinking hard about all this relationship stuff. Who says I HAVE to have someone in my life? Who says I have to be married by a certain age in order to be happy? Why do I WANT a guy in my life, and for what purpose?
A few years ago when I turned 30, I thought that I had better be married by the time I wa 40. Months later I started thinking “Or else what?” What would happen if I wasn’t married? Would a hole open up in the ground and I would fall in? I think not. What force was driving me to force marriage upon myself?
A few months ago, I had a dream that I was cleaning my apartment and thinking about when my husband gets home today he’ll ask me what I have done today and I would have to simply say “cleaning’. Was thinking about what I would fix us for dinner, etc. Whether or not this was prophetic, I can’t tell. But the idea is kind of nice. That would be nice and comfy, but it’s not my reality now. And frankly, I don’t really care. I live a quiet happy life, and I love it! There’s not any reason I HAVE to have anyone in it to share it. Which I believe is the best way to look at things.
So, here’s to being happy with your place in life, and ‘getting it’ in terms of living the best life you can!
sarap replied:
i also went through this till i was about 40. what a relief no longer to have that terrible anxiety over not being married.
August 20, 2007 at 6:29 am. Permalink.
Sam replied:
Being content with yourself is the ONLY thing that matters..the rest will fall into place when/if you are ready for it.
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Also, think of the conversations you hear me having with M. If that isn’t enough to put you off marriage forever..lmao!
August 20, 2007 at 8:39 am. Permalink.
Jennifer replied:
Sam – SO true! I’m perfectly happy not being married EVER thankyouverymuch.
August 20, 2007 at 8:42 am. Permalink.
Melissa Maples replied:
This book changed my life at a time when I was also stressing about being alone and the thought that I might be alone forever. The principles Storr talks about are great even if you do have someone in your life, though.
August 20, 2007 at 10:30 am. Permalink.
Dena replied:
Jennifer,
It’s nice to see women around who haven’t gotten sucked into the attitude that they need a man in order to be someone who matters. I didn’t meet Paul until after I had relaxed into that attitude myself. Being with someone has its pros and cons. So does being on your own.
August 20, 2007 at 2:02 pm. Permalink.
Amy Anderson replied:
You don’t have to have a partner to be happy. Just good friends and family are all you need to keep from becoming an old “crazy cat lady.”
August 29, 2007 at 10:55 pm. Permalink.